Effective Communication with Personality Lingo

I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Have you ever tried to communicate something to someone and it just didn’t come out right? Or perhaps you thought it came out right but they took it wrong? Why is it that communication flows so smoothly with some while with others it can be bumpy and frustrating?

Of course the mood you are in, your relationship with the person, (boss to subordinate, spouse, best friend…) and your background, such as education or expertise in an area, will have an influence on the way you communicate—but there is something more. The way you communicate with others has a great deal to do with your personality.

Connector (NF-Blue) Communication

A Connector’s world revolves around people, relationships, and fostering growth in themselves and others. When speaking, they first focus their attention on establishing a relationship or reconnecting with the person. The information they wish to convey is woven into this relationship-building endeavor.

Connector Personality Style

  • Friendly, helpful, empathetic
  • Optimistic
  • Expressive with emotion
  • Fostering or maintaining harmony
  • May use metaphors to embellish points

Tips for Communicating with Connectors

  • Acknowledge them
  • Show appreciation
  • Include them
  • Have patience
  • Don’t “bark” orders

Planner (SJ-Gold) Communication

Planners are generally respectful and responsible. They listen for details so they know what their part is. They usually size up a situation for what would be most appropriate before responding.

Planner Personality Style

  • Purposeful, plans ahead
  • Respectful, appropriate
  • Supportive of policies and rules
  • Detail oriented, chronological
  • Loyal, devoted

Tips for Communicating with Planners

  • Be prepared, give details
  • Stay on target, be consistent
  • Show respect
  • Don’t interrupt
  • Recognize their contributions

Thinker (NT-Green) Communication

Thinkers for the most part, communicate for the purpose of gaining or sharing information. During a conversation, their attention is usually focused on the matter at hand, not on the relationship.

Thinker Personality Style

  • Logical and objective
  • Includes facts and information
  • Big picture, conceptual
  • Questioning, critiquing
  • Wry sense of humor

Tips for Communicating with Thinkers

  • Allow them time to ponder
  • Skip the “small talk”
  • Avoid redundancy
  • Give big picture or point first, then fill in details if asked
  • Don’t misinterpret their need for info as interrogation

Mover (SP-Orange) Communication

Generally, Movers want to share their opinion the minute it hits their mind. Interested in taking action and being expedient, they may skip the softeners and go straight for the “punch-line”.

Mover Personality Style

  • Casual, playful
  • Spontaneous, now oriented
  • Fast-paced, changes subjects quickly
  • Straightforward
  • Active, involved, mobile

Tips for Communicating with Movers

  • Use “sound bites”
  • Move with them while they multitask
  • Appreciate their flair
  • Allow options and flexibility
  • Lighten up

Identifying your style and recognizing the communication style of others gives you insights to help you improve the way you express yourself. The next time you have an interaction with another person, notice what style is most dominant for them. Instead of trying to get others to change, recognize what you can do to adjust to their style so they better understand and accept your message.

Once you have established rapport, you can begin to slowly shift into your own communication style. Make sure to pay close attention to whether or not your listener is still connected and following you. If you observe a disconnect, you can restore broken lines of communication by pacing their style, volume, tempo, and /or body language.

Remember the suggested tips and experiment with which ones work best with each individual. Like learning to drive, it gets smoother and more automatic with practice.

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Read Personality Lingo

Personality Lingo Showing Our True Colors Update Mary Miscisin

Use the Power of Personality to Transform Relationships, Improve Communication, and Reduce Stress

Personality Lingo is a fun, easy guide for identifying personality styles and understanding why people behave as they do. Through lighthearted anecdotes, humorous cartoons and convenient reference lists, Mary Miscisin conveys complex personality concepts in simple to comprehend language.

Personality Lingo is the update to Mary Miscisin’s classic book Showing Our True Colors. Revised, expanded and improved – terms have been updated, the information revised and elements added.

+ Learn more about the Personality Lingo book

Quiz Mini Kit

Looking for a great, easy-to-use activity for teaching communication? The Communication quiz and accompanying handouts can be used as the focus of your workshop or a thought- provoking supplement to an existing presentation.

+ Learn more about the Communication Quiz Mini Kit

Personality Communication Quiz


Communication Skillbuilding Personality

Do you find that some are a pleasure to communicate with while others can be a pain? What you say and how you say it can make or break trust, morale, productivity and your organization’s bottom line. How effective is your team’s communication? Understanding the distinctive ways in which different personalities approach communication is a key ingredient to success at work and in your personal life.

+ Learn more about the Communication Skillbuilding Trainer’s Kit