How to Keep the Happy in Your Holidays
When it comes to holiday stress, the thing many people dread the most is interacting with certain relatives. Instead of banning Holiday visits with your relatives, learn how to use the insights of Personality Lingo® to unwrap those personality packages and find the gifts inside.
You ring the doorbell and brace yourself for the holiday visit…
The door swings open and your mother appears. She quickly scans you up and down and makes a comment about your weight before you have even taken a step inside. You exchange smiles and hugs.
Although you’ve only been married for 3 months, she’s already asking questions about when you will be having children, wonders out loud how you ever stay warm wearing such a flimsy coat like that, and tells you if you need to freshen up, the bathroom is down the hall.
Dad is inside watching TV practically ignoring you and your sister is letting her kids play tug-o-war with your new scarf…
Welcome to the Holidays – picking out gifts, decorating, traveling, connecting with others…
Not everyone reveals their true nature during the Holidays. Some individuals simply slip back into family dynamics and their roles as family members. However, many folks definitely show personality patterns that are recognizable and quite predictable. This report will help you understand the motivations behind the actions of others, as well as help you notice whether you are coming across in ways other than you intended.
Challenge:
Tendency to instigate
- “Let’s have a snowball fight, food fight or pillow fight!”
- “Let’s see who can drink the most eggnog the fastest”
- “Let’s make a fort out of the couch cushions!”
What to do?
Be prepared with opportunities to keep them moving, participating and entertained such as games, fun tasks, and karaoke. Know your limits- state your boundaries clearly, calmly, and firmly.
Challenge:
Invades your privacy
- Asks personal questions
- Shares intimate information
- Hugs and holds eye contact longer than others
What to do?
Remember their intention is to connect. Let them know how to best do this. Redirect their attention: for example, “You know what I’d really love to share with you is…” Acknowledge them with a smile and nod and hold your boundaries nicely.
Challenge:
Advice on what you “should be” doing
- “You should have kids by now”
- “You should find yourself a good man and settle down”
- “When are you going to get a “real” job?”
What to do?
Thank them for caring. You might mention how your present goals support your family, organization you belong to, and even your country! Shift the conversation to an old tradition you enjoy and ask them to recollect and share some of their favorite holiday memories.
Challenge:
Relentless questioning and critique
- Disputes your comments or plays devil's advocate
- Interrogating questions, “Why are you doing it that way?”
- Corrects “That’s not the right pan to make gravy.”
What to do?
Keep in mind, when they offer advice, it is to share their expertise and help you see things from other perspectives. Take it as a compliment that they are interested in you and what you are doing. When they offer tips for improvement, ask for their help.
Download the full 12-page report by Mary Miscisin, it is packed full of tips for to help you navigate interactions gracefully and keep everyone’s spirits bright this holiday season.
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