Learn the Art of Effective Communication

Have you ever tried to communicate something to someone and they took it wrong?

I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

– Robert McCloskey

Of course the mood you are in, your relationship with the person, (boss to subordinate, spouse, best friend…) and your background, such as education or expertise in an area, will have an influence on the way you communicate—but there is something more. The way you communicate with others has a great deal to do with your personality.

Connector (NF-Blue) Communication

A Connector’s world revolves around people, relationships, and fostering growth in themselves and others. When speaking, they first focus their attention on establishing a relationship or reconnecting with the person. The information they wish to convey is woven into this relationship-building endeavor.

Planner (SJ-Gold) Communication

Planners are generally respectful and responsible. They listen for details and want to know what their part is. They assess situations to decide on the most the appropriate response.

Thinker (NT-Green) Communication

During a conversation, Thinkers focus their attention on the matter at hand, not on the relationship. Their goal is to obtain information so they can figure out, fix, improve, or invent something.

Mover (SP-Orange) Communication

Movers are generally direct and eager to share their opinion the minute it hits their mind. Interested in taking action and being expedient, they may skip the “warm-up” and go straight for the “punch-line”.
Identifying your style and recognizing the communication style of others gives you insights to help you improve the way you express yourself. The next time you have an interaction with another person, notice what style is most dominant for them. Instead of trying to get others to change, recognize what you can do to adjust to their style so they better understand and accept your message.
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Compassionate Communication

Nonviolent Communication (NVC), also called Compassionate Communication, is a process developed by Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960s. Rosenburg discovered an insightful way of working through the conflict that arises when two individuals have contrasting strategies for having their own needs and values met. His process involves identifying one’s own needs, the needs of others, and the feelings that surround these needs.

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